[Britannia, 526 CE, in a parallel (and almost identical) universe]
Manius Quinto sal.
[...] As soon as I can, dear Quintus, I will tell you exactly where my tower is located here in Britannia - all I know it is somewhere in the East of the island - so that you can send me all possible information about the area.
Since you’re living in Northern Gaul I remember you saying you know quite a lot about Britannia and that you also possess detailed maps that can be copied and sent to me as soon as I tell you where I am.
The Franks – you told me - show mercy unto you because of your knowledge and writing skills. They will not object to your sending a parcel to an old friend.
One more thing. That weird legend about a certain Manius Papirius Lentulus, whom you say to be the talk of your village ...ahhh, hercle, a clear case of homonymy! Or a stupid mistake!
Our clan, the Papirii, is very large. Besides people write (and mispronounce) so horribly in our days.
I swear to our gods that I haven't married seven Anglia women.
Oh oh oh, I wish I had, but how? I've been here for only a few months. The sad truth is that I am terribly alone in my tower and that I badly miss the warm body of a woman in my bed.
This attached papyrus informs you about the local version of that legend. Please do not propagate such stupidities.
[…]
Is Manius a sexual maniac?
ReplyDelete(Man of Roma speaking)
ReplyDeletePaulus,
Manius is an ordinary human being. He has though heard that somewhere in the New World (don't forget he lives in a parallel but not identical universe) people behave strangely in matters of sex.
They resemble a bit, he told me, the Christian hordes that abhor the bodily pleasures and that he fled from when in Rome and later in Augusta Taurinorum.
We communicate from universe to universe via a witch, a Celtic red-head woman he will perhaps tell about at a later time.
Oh, this is sounding ominous...
ReplyDeleteYou mean the red-head witch? :-)
ReplyDeleteFrankly I don't know where the hell this silly blog will bring me. If it’s not fun I will erase it.
Manius
Where shall we meet to start our search? Richborough, where my ancestors may have lived?
ReplyDeleteAve Richard,
ReplyDeleteYes, let us meet in Richborough. I hoped you'd help me find Manius. Richborough is in the East, with a Roman fort, close to the sea or on it, where probably the Romans first landed.
Not that it matters, Manius' time being centuries later. But if it’s the place of your ancestors, wonderful, I'm with you, I don’t know the territory enough.
Homo Romanus tuus
PS
ReplyDeleteRichard, maybe here we can find some useful info where to start from:
http://www.roman-britain.org/
As you sale towards Richborough:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.english-heritage.org.uk/daysout/properties/richborough-roman-fort-and-amphitheatre/
remember the lighthouses at Dover:
http://www.picturetheuk.com/uk-tourism/things-to-do/dover-castle-roman-lighthouse-kent-1085.html
which will ensure your safe arrival. Manius might be anywhere in Britannia and I need your help to find him.
I have only supposed my ancestors are from Richborough. They might also have been from Mancunium:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamucium
What about Gough's Caves in Cheddar Gorge in Somerset?
ReplyDeleteNot a bad idea, Potsoc. How do we get there?
ReplyDeleteHere is a road map:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_roads_in_Britain
It will be a culture shock to Man of Roma to discover that now all roads lead to London.
You could well be right about Cheddar Gorge, but it is way over to the west towards the Dumnonii. (or should it be Dumnonios, Roma). It is true that Cheddar Man:
http://www.cheddarcaves.co.uk/section.php?xSec=20
came from there, but Manius enjoys a level of sophistication with the distant ancestors of the natives, that he is unlikely to want tto live in a cave. He is not, after all, in hiding. He is among friends.
Perhaps we should first head for Londinium via Dubris after looking in Durovernum Catacorum and other places Manius might be on the way, like Reculver
http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/daysout/properties/reculver-towers-and-roman-fort/.
It’s all up to Man of Roma when he arrives, really.
He should be sailing into Richborough soon, but not for the sales.
Richardus,
ReplyDeleteI woke up early this morning (I love you being an early bird like me) and found your munificent, generous gifts: locations, ports, road maps etc. and most of all the enthusiasm and encouragement I needed to continue with this hard to believe (but now more exciting) adventure. I’m preparing a sober valise that will accompany me straight to Richborough.
And yes, I am still under the shock that all roads do not lead to Roma any longer.
That is why I need a good breakfast and a shower before I take my cart that through the Porta Portuensis will take me to Portus, our harbour, just a few miles from Roma, where a big ship will soon be sailing to the land of the Albiones, or Albien, or Albion. The red-head witch pronounces it Albbu, I heard. I wonder where is she from.
Homo Romanus tuus
PS
ReplyDeleteAh now I know. From the smaller island that lies to the west of Albien.
Sorry if I sent Manius way out in western England, I thought Somerset was nearer. I should have looked at a complete map. However England being 17 times smaller than my province of Québec, it can not be all that far. Although distances are so relative.
ReplyDeleteGod, Paul, is England 17 times smaller than 'just' Québec??
ReplyDeletePS
ReplyDeleteNo harm done Paul. Thank you for your presence.
The province of Québec, Manlius, is 17 times larger than England and 3 times larger than France. Our spaces are of a magnitude totally out of the imagination of ordinary Europeans.
ReplyDeleteVisitors at a friend of mine, in Montreal, asked him if they could go see the Rockies, at the border between British Columbia and Alberta, two of our ten provinces and be back in time for the evening meal, not realizing the Rockies were 3000 kilometers away, 4 hours by plane, 3 days by car at 1000km/day.
@Paul - According to what I've dug up in Google, Quebec is 12 times larger than England; and 7.3 times larger than Britain.
ReplyDeleteYou were correct, however, in saying that Quebec is 3 times larger than France.
But, I'm merely splitting geographic hairs. The important thing is that Quebec, although only a province in a North American confederation, is twice as large as the sovereign countries of France and Britain put together; and that distances in Quebec, and not to speak of distances in Canada, dwarf those in Europe.
I have heard of the same inquiries about "visiting the Rockies" from my friends who entertained European guests Ask Zeus sometime how far you have to drive in any direction just to get out of the state of Virginia starting more or less in the middle (not counting the direction which would end you up in the ocean).
ReplyDeleteWhen I was visiting Britain I was charmed by the relative closeness of so many of the things I wanted to see.
Manius,
ReplyDeleteThe tower is in the region of the white horse made of chalk.
I am coming to see this ancient wonder next year.
I do hope to find this tower. I am hopeless with riddles Chaery.
ReplyDelete@Philippe and Paul
ReplyDeleteDon't you people feel like ants in such a vast territory? Wow, I confess my envy in any case.
Cheri,
ReplyDeleteThe chalk carvings are amazing. We drove all over Dorset looking at some of them. In one village people asked if we had come to look at "the man with the big willy." Which rather described it.
Feel like ants? Not as far as I am concerned. One advantage is that it is rather easy to find a nice isolated corner and get away from it all when one feels like it. No need to build a tower, just find a nice forest. We still have some and most governments are now taking steps to protect them while allowing some reasonned exploitation for human need.
ReplyDeleteOne advantage is that it is rather easy to find a nice isolated corner and get away from it all ...No need to build a tower, just find a nice forest.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I said we are envious.
We instead are crammed like sardines. Ok, we have peaceful spots too but not as many and as vast as yours.
In any case, when the greenhouse effect will worsen we’ll mass migrate to Canada. Will you accept us? We're only 60 millions and even just Quebec is huge compared to Italy (you viens de souligner).
Joking Pavols. We'll stay and fry :-(