Tuesday 15 February 2011

A readheaded witch disappears in the woods. The Angles. An angel smiling



MANIUS QUINTO SAL.

Dear Quintus, never friendship is so dear as in times of distress.

I have found a big box of codices and scrolls together with a few amphorae of decent Gallic wine in a Romano-British farm set on fire by the barbarians. All had been well concealed under the cellar floor.

Vita hominis sine literis mors est, or, man's life without learning is death.

And yet, when I look at these unclean, uneducated German Angles, I cannot but admire some virtues they have (and we haven't any more). And they were after all often able to rout the Romano-British. Although when they see the huge buildings the Romans built they think we are a people of giants!

Britain in 550 CE. Manius is somewhere with the Angles. Credits

The question Quintus now arises: can man live fully in total ignorance? Or even, nihil scire vita jucundissima? 'Tis the merriest life to know nothing?

Speaking of Celts I met a strange red-head in the woods around my tower full of marshes, bears, wolves and eagles. She was collecting herbs and berries and had a curiously coloured & scanty dress, her pale skin adorned with paint and tattoo motifs all over.

On seeing me she shrieked and disappeared like a night bird but I kept feeling her eyes on me while even my hounds couldn't perceive her presence any more. Hercle! So eerie it was I deemed wiser to get back to my crenellated refuge.

I later wondered if she could speak Latin. It’d be such a joy to hear sentences spoken in our beautiful language, whatever inflection they may have. But she may be dangerous.

I'm trapped with the Angles, Quintus meus, though they are kind enough to me.

They probably see me like a dwarf, or a clown. The giant Romans of their imagination, you know ... They ignore they are the real giants, they being in truth much bigger than the average Roman.

They are blond, blue-eyed, fair-skinned, extremely rude-mannered and, well, stinking. Not that I smell that better. I miss the comfort of our thermal baths!

Pensive and silent they may nonetheless suddenly burst into a sort of Polypheme’s laughter:

AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH.

Jupiter!

Besides, bibunt ut Gothi, they drink like the Goths, or even more. I swear I’ve never seen people getting THAT drunk.

But I'm beginning to like their silence. Romans are such chatter-boxes (I am, as you know). Think of our Cicero: what a windbag although I’ll admit five of his precious works retrieved in that cellar express in sound old-times Latin so many gems of the sweet Greeks' wisdom.

I am again exercising my body thanks to my new friends. We fight, run, ride and throw arrows, all for the simple joy of being alive. They are kind enough not to break my neck and I feel much better after so many years of sedentary work.

I return to my tower in the evening where I frugally have my dinner and, lost in reading and thought, I sip what is left of my Gallic amphorae.

Unfortunately, vina parant animos Veneri, id est wine prepares our souls for Venus.

I noticed that some Anglia women are looking at me with a bit of curiosity. Some of them are very attractive and sturdy. I guess I appear different to them. And I think I perceived in at least a couple of them that naughty look that is universally unmistakable.

In truth, dear Quintus, alius est amor, alius cupido, love is one thing, lust quite another.

A Roman girl painted by the Victorian Alma Tadema
The latter would void my soul in a moment of loneliness where I feel badly in need of Clelia’s black eyes and tender smile.

Where is she now on earth? Did she forget me?

The last time we met we spent some time in an Augustan garden (in North West Italy) overlooking the Padus river. All was so glorious, beautiful, with scented flowers all over the place and the Alpine peaks towering in the background.

Clelia wore a shining garland on her black hair and a dress that made her look like a Vestal, or a Christian angel ...




Manius tuus.

Friday 11 February 2011

The seven wives legend is not true





[Britannia, 526 CE, in a parallel (and almost identical) universe]

Manius Quinto sal.

[...] As soon as I can, dear Quintus, I will tell you exactly where my tower is located here in Britannia - all I know it is somewhere in the East of the island - so that you can send me all possible information about the area.

Since you’re living in Northern Gaul I remember you saying you know quite a lot about Britannia and that you also possess detailed maps that can be copied and sent to me as soon as I tell you where I am.

The Franks – you told me - show mercy unto you because of your knowledge and writing skills. They will not object to your sending a parcel to an old friend.

One more thing. That weird legend about a certain Manius Papirius Lentulus, whom you say to be the talk of your village ...ahhh, hercle, a clear case of homonymy! Or a stupid mistake!

Our clan, the Papirii, is very large. Besides people write (and mispronounce) so horribly in our days.

I swear to our gods that I haven't married seven Anglia women.

Oh oh oh, I wish I had, but how? I've been here for only a few months. The sad truth is that I am terribly alone in my tower and that I badly miss the warm body of a woman in my bed.

This attached papyrus informs you about the local version of that legend. Please do not propagate such stupidities.

[…]

Wednesday 9 February 2011

Manius Papirius Lentulus

Sheep in the English countryside. Credits

Britannia, 526 CE, in a parallel (and almost identical) universe.

Angles, Saxons and Jutes are invading the Roman province of Britannia from the South-East. All continental Roman soldiers have left – but the Romano-Celtic in the West are resisting bravely. Only Manius Papirius Lentulus from Roma has stayed. He’s with the barbarians but he risks nothing because he's considered innocuous by the Angles (or Angli as he says in his language.)

In such a green but rainy land he doesn't only meet the locals but also strange people from other nations.

Manius being reserved (and living in a tower) prefers to communicate via wax tablets that he sends to every corner of Britannia and of the big world.

This blog will present the content of Manius' letters (along with other fun stuff).